To her, that was not love. That was stupidity. And I learned my lesson: don’t do that. So what happens? Now, my wife speaks in a language of love and if she doesn’t feel love, what happens? If she doesn’t feel love then she’s going to automatically retaliate in some way because she just doesn’t feel love. She may say something, and the thing that she says would cause disrespect. Might disrespect me by saying, “why don’t you be a man?” Now I don’t think my wife meant it- I hope. I don’t think she meant it cause she’s a good person, she’s a good woman, I trust that. But she fires back because she doesn’t feel loved, she fires back with “why don’t you just be a man?” Now I’m feeling disrespected. So instead of returning to her love, I’m not going to return love.

I’m going to stand back because as a boy growing up and I was disrespected one of two things happened: either we fight or we run. Right? That’s why you see a lot of guys in relationships and marriages that give the cold shoulder. They don’t want to talk. They just shut off. Because they don’t know how to deal with the situation, they don’t understand that is how two people speak. So if you get stuck in this crazy cycle, we have to understand that about each other that the reason why we’re fighting is one: I’m probably being disrespect but you don’t know it and I’m probably not showing love to you in a way that is valuable to you. And I think when we understand that, I think that goes back to the question: how do you fight the problem not the person? Realize this: in a relationship, when one person wins, the relationship loses. So let me ask you this question: do you really want to win?